exhausted.

2012' exhausted.

everything is just that exhausted. I'm trying to let every shit go and I'm almost there for it. those foolish thing please don't freaky come for me again, I'm really tiring for it. just try to stay away from me. friends - friends, that much, that's all, no more. no more those repetition of history, honesty I hate it. I love this kind of life now, no bother no annoyed no sorrow no drama no worried, just happy and freedom. bad times make me appreciate the good times, real appreciate. I don't owe anyone any explanations for why I do the shit I do, don't ask me why again and don't try to change me cause you can't. I'm a bad girl anyway, like a girl gone wild. I'm sorry that I did those stupid thing for you and said those "i love you" "i miss you" to you, I know I shouldn't do that, I'm so sorry. try to erase it, forget it. send some message to me sometimes, so I can ignore you like you always ignored me. when everything's made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am. everyone deserves a second chance but not for the same mistake. hate falling apart.

november / december.

nothing exciting over. two months holidays prefer to stay at home or going out with family more than hanging out with friends, and that's why my parents let me buy so many thing and won't keep nagging me. a nice month too, make me change a lot. became more mature and will think properly for my own good, never did something regret again. got a camera for this year (Nikon D3200) and will change new phone for next year. reopen school soon, it's unacceptable but still need to. time flies, I'm a examinee for SPM next year, Form 5 and imma january baby. 15 january 2013 - 17 years old. the month for me that can straight take driving license but unfortunately I think my mom won't let me cause she know I will keep going out non-stop ...fine, just let it be. I'm cool. lol

2013' ♛

please be awesome. I know I should focus on study right now, I know and I will so don't get worry. 15 january, it's my birthday and I want it to be more special and memorable for it when I'm still in sweet 17. hope everything is fine. I'm the one who always so exciting for knowing my future. what am I gonna do after I graduate, what I'm gonna be? yeah a lot of question haha. but just let everything be and it's gonna be alright right? I believe myself. and please please please please, please keep in touch after graduate my friends. I will miss you guys so bad anyway. remember come back to school and meet each other after 10 years. I will bring my kids along too. funny. yesterday today tomorrow next life , it's gonna be so much different.

single : 232 days

MY SPECIAL FRIENDSHIP.

Shhh, it's a secret ..we all have different secrets. Well, one of my secret is : I have a special secret friendship. It's not a normal friendship, I know ..but who cares? This make me headache seriously but it's make me comfortable. "YOU" make me confused sometimes but can treat me right. Sometimes I damn care what's YOU say but need to pretend that "who cares?" in front of. YOU can maybe a girl or a guy too ..or can maybe a soul, my soul that live inside me? Sometimes I will think about ..why you? Maybe it because you saw me when I'm invisible? Or maybe I'm not very good at making friends? Or maybe you were just the way you are? Or maybe I just catching the feelings of you? ..We are the best best friends that look alike couple, I still have a bit nervous when I have a date with you, I still care who you always dealing with.. YOU can properly make my day even just some sweet words on it, seriously I'm not really trust you in your every words sometimes but then I did really trust it every time in those moment. YOU look alike me sometimes, those feelings, those thought, those needed, those expectation, those unspoken words.

SORRY. Sorry for disturbing, sorry for my annoying, sorry for thinking too much, sorry for keep endured me, sorry for keep worrying me, sorry for letting you down, sorry for let everything happen with an reason, sorry for who I am.

THANK YOU. Thank you for making my day, Thank you for worrying me, Thank you for respecting me, Thanks you for  trusting me, Thank you for giving me chances, Thank you for listening my boring stories, Thank you for making your special secret friend, Thank you for making something happen, Thank you for calling me when I'm not in the mood, Thank you for being a good guy in front of me, Thank you for making me comfortable, Thank you for making me believe, Thank you for making me who I am.

· Cause everything starts from something, but something would be nothing. Nothing if your heart didn't dream with me.

Where would I be, if you didn't believe ?

Cute things EVER.

Two weeks of school holidays almost end now :) When I realized all those homework and all those folio that I haven even touch it, I know I'm dead now..seriously I'm dying.. I think it's time to LAST MINUTES again. God bless! @@ Another thing is.. in this two weeks of school holidays I thought it might be so enjoyable and simple but then it can happened a lot of serious stupid stuff on me. Really. Went to a random party, met a guy, both of us love at first sight, having chat, morning call, hang out and became a 'secret twitter's friends'(?) haa~ (absurd). Always hurt by a guy, I already used to it. Maybe that's how I live with.. I tried to change it but can I? My love always easy come and easy go, sucks. Can I change to easy come but hard to go? Truly in love with each other but can't to-be-gether?! (cruel). Remember my sweetheart, love is need to GRASP by your own self, it can't be control by someone else and something else. Chances is hard to get back, when the fate is already came, don't lose it and don't just let it be, you need some action to prove it if you really want it and need it and love it! Don't just like that, you need to learnt more about it. If you truly love someone, you will get it no matter how the situation is, you will try to get it till the end. If you want to love, just go ahead. NOBODY can force that you can't! REALLY! I just telling the truth my sweetheart. My heart is damn pain when I'm watching you to be like you don't want to be. DO whatever you want to do. Don't control by someone else. Follow your dreams baby :) JUST TRUST YOURSELF! Trust yourself is more helpful and useful by trust something else. I didn't contempt something or what, I really just want you to know about it. Make the decision by your own self not by others. Ask yourself properly, ask what you really want and what you really want to do! Not the instructions by someone but is YOU! Think wisely and make the decision carefully. Look clearly to this cruel world, try to understand it. It can't be help by anything but you, just you! The thought of yours is the most important things EVER! Don't always tell me that this cannot that don't let. You are the one who only can control your own self in this god damn world not the others. Hope you know it, I didn't treat a guy like this before but you. All because I want you back, the only one that who I really give so many chances to, just you. But you don't care about all those rare chances. Please .. I beg you now, THINK  THINK THINK !! Don't just let me go like this, I don't want to end like this. It's not over yet !! ♛ ...